Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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