Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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