Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
