Already got asked if we're dating
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
