i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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