Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize