Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
