Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My ass is underappreciated
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
