Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize