We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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