the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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