some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
