see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
