So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
