his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
