So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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