I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
