Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
