Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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