K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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