i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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