can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
