im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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