Dual....:-)
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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