You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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