well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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