i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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