if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
