this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just invented taco cereal.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
