Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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