whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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