her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
