Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
