is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
