He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dicks are not precious.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
