It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
