oh god the rape fog is back!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize