Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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