omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
