you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
