i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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