I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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