My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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