He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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