Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
