we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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