all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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