I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
