Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
