i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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