dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
