it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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