talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
where does the pee come out of this thing
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
