Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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