ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We need to rekindle our bromance
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
