It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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