I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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