I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
