I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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