got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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