I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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