I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize