i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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