Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
