you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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