So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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