My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
