I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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