You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
