Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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