what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
