ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
