is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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