On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
