Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
