He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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