I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
