What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
